I’m eighteen years old and bisexual. I was about eleven years old when I realized that I liked members of the same sex. Coming out to my family was scary because a new chapter of my life was about to be opened, and I really didn’t know what to do. I told my mom first. She was very shocked and upset. She asked me why and if anything had ever happened to me that would cause me to be this way. But no, nothing ever happened. I was never victimized. I just like guys. I was very scared that my parents wouldn’t accept me. I thought they would disown me because neither of them approved, but after a few years they learned to accept it. My mom and a friend of mine that I work with are my two biggest supporters. My momma’s going to love me no matter what.
I came out to my parents first in 2015, but I just recently came out to the rest of the world via social media. Mostly, people were more supportive than I expected them to be. I was shocked by the amount of people who were like, “hey. We support you.” I was met with some rude and hostile people that said hurtful things, but there were more people that were supportive than not. When I first came out on social media, I had people messaging me asking if I really posted that or if I had been hacked. They didn’t know what to think at first. They didn’t know if it was really me or not.
I had a friend come out on social media about two days before I did. That’s kind of what gave me the courage to finally come out, too. I thought, “well, that’s how I’m going to do it,” and I did. When I came out on social media, pretty much everyone was supportive. They would comment and say “good for you” and all. Many people said they were accepting and that they were still my friends. But, now I don’t really talk to them much. They say all the right things on social media, but their true feelings have kind of shown through. They just kind of disappeared. People will say, “what’s up” to me, but it’s that look they give afterward that has changed. It’s like, “he’s gay. Don’t talk to him.” But, I’m a senior, and I’m going to graduate soon. So, things will get better. I’ll get to start my life.
I wouldn’t do it any differently if I had it to do over again, because I’m happy with who I am. My momma always told me to be me, to be my own man, to be real. I’ve never really been bullied because of who I am. But, I’m also not going to sit around and listen to it, either, so I don’t really give them a chance. I’ve not yet been mistreated by a complete stranger because I’m gay. It’s all still new. When people are judgy or openly hostile, I tell them that they have a right to their personal opinion but to keep moving. I don’t want to hear it. I’ll just walk away. I don’t have time for it. This is my life, and no ones going to live it for me.
High school is not really that different now that I’ve come out. I have people ask me questions about it, but other than that, not much has changed. I just don’t really talk to as many people as I did before. If I feel like taking another guy to the prom or to a school dance, I think it’s going to be a challenge, because that’s when everyone is going to be judgmental. Not everyone is cool with being gay and stuff. But hey, it’s my life. If I want to take a guy to the school dance, I will, and I’m going to have fun while I’m there. It’s my life, and I’m going to live it. It’s happened before. It is more socially acceptable for a girl to be gay than a guy. I’m not sure why that is. A macho pride thing? I don’t know.
I think that today’s attitude toward equality is a lot better now than it was twenty years ago. Being gay is more socially acceptable now. President Obama passed the law for same-sex marriages, so a lot more people have openly come out and got married. People are less judgmental than they once were.
Before coming out, I had never had a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. I am currently single. I would consider marriage further into the future, but I’m still pretty young. I do want children. I think I would be willing to both adopt and have children naturally, if I could. I’d like to have one of my own so that I could be there from the beginning, but I know there are a lot of kids out there that need families and just want to be loved. So, I would be willing to do that, too.
I haven’t yet attended a pride event, but that’s a goal of mine. I’d really like to attend one. I want to see what it’s like and experience it.
My advice to anyone planning to come out is don’t let anyone make you feel bad for being you. No one else can live your life for you. Don’t let them tell you you’re nothing or that you’re worthless, because at the end of the day, you are you. When you get out of school, it’s your life. Go live it to the fullest. Don’t let anything hold you back.